Hi Friends and Family,
We made it home and things are....difficult. Thank you to all who greeted us at the airport, that was a real treat. Mia was so excited to see her friends and Colin seemed to join right in on the wild bunch.
Things were going well at home (first 5-10 minutes) until Colin met Chili Dog. Let's just say it will take some time for Colin to warm up to a dog. Chili, on the other hand, likes Colin just a little too much. I know the tides will turn and it will eventually be Colin who is tormenting Chili Dog, but not now.
Kids are up at all different times of night (its daytime in China) so we have got to figure out a way to at least all sleep from 8-2 or 2-6. Right now it is some one, some the other and parents none (or very little). Colin is crying and threw up again yesterday morning. He has a cold and this may have something to do with it. I do think we had a breakthrough at nap. He went into his usual fit mode, kicking and pushing me away. But then, he stopped, reached out for me and put his head down in my shoulder and cried and cried, hugging me. I am no psychologist but think this means he is bonding or something good is happening. It sure made things easier on me, as I was able to comfort him by humming frere jacques (are you sleeping) which he sings in Chinese (I don't know how he learned this.) Anyway, being able to comfort him and hug him was an incredible feeling.
He continues to talk....all in Chinese. I am sure he has decided someone in this family has to switch languages and it is just as easy for us to learn Chinese as for him to learn English. We were saved yesterday by Angela, Madeline's friend, who came over and translated for us. It was great to have her talk with him and tell us what he wanted. Thanks to Angela, we all had a pretty good day. He did tell Angela he likes his new home (but that the dog wants to eat him.)
We are playing Disney movies in Chinese which he loves (and seem to comfort him). I am firing up the rice cooker today (thanks Koko) and we are trying to establish a routine. He continues to get very frustrated and upset, but overall I think is doing as well as can be expected given all the changes in his world.
This weekend we look forward to John Bentley from Harmony Outreach being in town. Even though we are happily focused on Colin, we know there are many orphans who need a home....a mama and a baba. Please pray for them and spread the message about the miracle of adoption.
T
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
delayed arrival until Sunday
Our flight from Shanghai to Chicago is delayed so we must spend the night in Chicago. Oh well, at least we didn't act like the lady from New York when told of the delay. Wow, she throws a bigger fit than Colin! Our flight in is now scheduled for a little after 11. Not sure if we can make it to the Well, given this delay. And, I certainly will miss my WHPC class! BTW, spoke with Sam and Koko in Xiamen. They are doing well. Sam is very busy taking care of business!
Press on,
Tommy
Press on,
Tommy
Friday, March 13, 2009
headed home!
In less than 24 hours we are headed home! We have loved our time in China. We are also excited to go home and see our family and friends in Texas.
Tonight we had a wonderful dinner with Tom Mooney and family. Colin really took up with Ian and it was good for all of us to connect up with some Austinites. I am a little jealous that Tom and Mimi are living in China for some time. What a fun time and great food we had. Colin about ate us all under the table on dumplings and we think he was ordering things in Chinese from our waitress.
Shanghai feels like NY on steroids. 19 million (second largest city in the World); 2nd tallest building in the world; a whole new downtown area in the last 10 years (pudong); and the worst traffic in the world!! We are out in a suburb with a Carrifour (think French Walmart) where many folks have cars (there is a parking garage on top of the Carrifour); folks live in houses--not apartments; dogs are man's best friend, and you can get every type of food, from Italian to Indian. But for visiting Old Town, I would not think I was in China. Perhaps that is why I prefer Xiaman, Beijing, and that little town our dear friends Hans and Faith live in. Shanghai is just too Western. Shoot, they don't even have a descent squatty potty here!
We are very appreciative of all our support! We have many stories to tell and much work to do helping our friends who are serving in orphanages over here. Pr for those 4 boys at Harmony Outreach who need families! We have learned that for 20% for what it cost for foreigners to adopt, the Chinese can adopt. Also, they can have one bio child and one adopted child. Hopefully we can assist our brothers and sisters in China in taking care of the least of these.
Press on,
Tommy
Tonight we had a wonderful dinner with Tom Mooney and family. Colin really took up with Ian and it was good for all of us to connect up with some Austinites. I am a little jealous that Tom and Mimi are living in China for some time. What a fun time and great food we had. Colin about ate us all under the table on dumplings and we think he was ordering things in Chinese from our waitress.
Shanghai feels like NY on steroids. 19 million (second largest city in the World); 2nd tallest building in the world; a whole new downtown area in the last 10 years (pudong); and the worst traffic in the world!! We are out in a suburb with a Carrifour (think French Walmart) where many folks have cars (there is a parking garage on top of the Carrifour); folks live in houses--not apartments; dogs are man's best friend, and you can get every type of food, from Italian to Indian. But for visiting Old Town, I would not think I was in China. Perhaps that is why I prefer Xiaman, Beijing, and that little town our dear friends Hans and Faith live in. Shanghai is just too Western. Shoot, they don't even have a descent squatty potty here!
We are very appreciative of all our support! We have many stories to tell and much work to do helping our friends who are serving in orphanages over here. Pr for those 4 boys at Harmony Outreach who need families! We have learned that for 20% for what it cost for foreigners to adopt, the Chinese can adopt. Also, they can have one bio child and one adopted child. Hopefully we can assist our brothers and sisters in China in taking care of the least of these.
Press on,
Tommy
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
update on Colin
Colin is fun, is learning quickly, and I believe he has bonded with us. Just one small problem. He cries and whines --all the time--- is too strong a statement so let's say 25% of the time.
He especially cries before going to bed--for nap or for night. Yesterday he cried hard for 50 minutes and then threw up. Of coures that meant a trip to the bath and he cried all through that. We are not sure what is going on here and thus far, our friends who speak Mandarin have not either. Perhaps he is just exhausted from all the changes. Of course, he thinks we live in hotels that change every few days!!
Please read this: DISCLAIMER: Tommy and Anne Broyles are not responsibe for Colin's actions until 6 months aftere the USA arrival date, March 14, 2009. So, any comments, stare downs, "poor pityful Broyles need to discipline their kid" comments bust be held until that thim. ;) If things are not going better after 6 months, we are sending him over to Craig for a lesson in corporal puishment!!
OTHERWISE, he is very charming and understands several words in English. He pops out of bed the 1st thing early morning and says Good Morning Baba!! He loves to eat and to take baths. Funny, he will NOT use Chinese potties. His orphanage had western toilets so he refuses--screams and kicks--anytime we enter a restroom with only Chinese potties. In this regard he fits right in with my girls.
Yesterday he and Mia did not get along and he was yelling in Chinese at us. A guy in the hotel said he was saying "she wants to fight me." I think this is what he yells whenever an argument begins. Mia is having a rough time. We were swimming last night and Colin kissed me. Mia saw us and I could tell she was upset---that is my Daddy! I have spent the majority of the time with Colin so we are now changing that so Mia can spend time with me. Colin was with Anne last night and kicked her out of the bed. She then got in the bed with Madeline who kicked her out of the bed. There is something wrong with this picture!! :) Mia, Chrissy and I were happily asleep next door!
Anne, Madeline and Chrissy are shopping. I am at the hotel with the two little ones. I will post pictures when they nap. Thank you for all your support and prayer!!
Last time to let us know if you want anything from China! BTW, please tell the U.S. to quit playing games off the coast.....at least until we get home!
Tommy
He especially cries before going to bed--for nap or for night. Yesterday he cried hard for 50 minutes and then threw up. Of coures that meant a trip to the bath and he cried all through that. We are not sure what is going on here and thus far, our friends who speak Mandarin have not either. Perhaps he is just exhausted from all the changes. Of course, he thinks we live in hotels that change every few days!!
Please read this: DISCLAIMER: Tommy and Anne Broyles are not responsibe for Colin's actions until 6 months aftere the USA arrival date, March 14, 2009. So, any comments, stare downs, "poor pityful Broyles need to discipline their kid" comments bust be held until that thim. ;) If things are not going better after 6 months, we are sending him over to Craig for a lesson in corporal puishment!!
OTHERWISE, he is very charming and understands several words in English. He pops out of bed the 1st thing early morning and says Good Morning Baba!! He loves to eat and to take baths. Funny, he will NOT use Chinese potties. His orphanage had western toilets so he refuses--screams and kicks--anytime we enter a restroom with only Chinese potties. In this regard he fits right in with my girls.
Yesterday he and Mia did not get along and he was yelling in Chinese at us. A guy in the hotel said he was saying "she wants to fight me." I think this is what he yells whenever an argument begins. Mia is having a rough time. We were swimming last night and Colin kissed me. Mia saw us and I could tell she was upset---that is my Daddy! I have spent the majority of the time with Colin so we are now changing that so Mia can spend time with me. Colin was with Anne last night and kicked her out of the bed. She then got in the bed with Madeline who kicked her out of the bed. There is something wrong with this picture!! :) Mia, Chrissy and I were happily asleep next door!
Anne, Madeline and Chrissy are shopping. I am at the hotel with the two little ones. I will post pictures when they nap. Thank you for all your support and prayer!!
Last time to let us know if you want anything from China! BTW, please tell the U.S. to quit playing games off the coast.....at least until we get home!
Tommy
Monday, March 9, 2009
Good times at the White Swan
Hi Friends,
We are enjoying our stay at the White Swan with so many other families who are adopting. Everyone but me went to the jade and pearl market today and had a good time. Tonight, we took a river boat cruise down the Pearl River. Very impressive.
Colin is doing better every day and can say several words in English. He greets everyone with "Good Morning" ....at all times of day. It was such a help to have our Chinese friends here to interpret for us and to work with him. He really took up with Hans and a new friend from France, Jerome (who is married to a new friend from China). They gave us a much needed break by babysitting for us. They will be such great parents.
My trip with Hans and Faith was wonderful. I had no idea how impacted I would be by those I met. I stayed in the home of a company director who has fallen in love with God. His story is one that could have been written in the book of Acts and despite facing many challenges and threats, he continues to lead. He is bucking thousands of years of Chinese culture by leading out of respect rather than leading out of fear. Few people have my admiration as much as this man, who when in his late 50's was willing to change and lead others into this change. I look forward to sharing his story when in Austin. Sam, Doug and Wesla, and Andy and Kathy are all visiting him next week.
Hans and Faith rock! They are doing so well and are full of joy. The most joyful I have ever seen them. I visited their apartment which is plenty big for a child (and very nice). I pr they will be so blessed. We all were surprised at how familiar we were....it seemed as if we see each other every week. We had good fun and productive work. I liked their city which is clean and beautiful, very tropical, and not so big. It was especially good to see Faith in good health as we have worried about and pr for her much.
I was given a Chinese name and will share it whenever I can figure it out!! :) I shared much about adoption and can see the beginning fruit. I understand things are going well at the Bridge and received updates on all of our friends. My only regret for this trip is that we will not make it to X town, to see these folks as well as 4 fish and others. It is a deep regret.
Colin is sitting in bed "reading" a book next to Chrissy. He has bonded most with her but also with the rest of us. Mia is just her normal wonderful self and she and Madeline have really enjoyed the time together. Anne is content and "taking to" be the mama of a boy. He if playful with her and she is worried about him (too close to this, be careful with that, get down from there)....typical mama stuff. She did ask that I explain to him how to aim a little better and to put the seat up and down. :) This is all new stuff for us.
I will ask Chrissy to download pictures soon. Madeline and I are headed to the day market tomorrow. Thank goodness $100 yuan = only $14!!
Press on,
Tommy
We are enjoying our stay at the White Swan with so many other families who are adopting. Everyone but me went to the jade and pearl market today and had a good time. Tonight, we took a river boat cruise down the Pearl River. Very impressive.
Colin is doing better every day and can say several words in English. He greets everyone with "Good Morning" ....at all times of day. It was such a help to have our Chinese friends here to interpret for us and to work with him. He really took up with Hans and a new friend from France, Jerome (who is married to a new friend from China). They gave us a much needed break by babysitting for us. They will be such great parents.
My trip with Hans and Faith was wonderful. I had no idea how impacted I would be by those I met. I stayed in the home of a company director who has fallen in love with God. His story is one that could have been written in the book of Acts and despite facing many challenges and threats, he continues to lead. He is bucking thousands of years of Chinese culture by leading out of respect rather than leading out of fear. Few people have my admiration as much as this man, who when in his late 50's was willing to change and lead others into this change. I look forward to sharing his story when in Austin. Sam, Doug and Wesla, and Andy and Kathy are all visiting him next week.
Hans and Faith rock! They are doing so well and are full of joy. The most joyful I have ever seen them. I visited their apartment which is plenty big for a child (and very nice). I pr they will be so blessed. We all were surprised at how familiar we were....it seemed as if we see each other every week. We had good fun and productive work. I liked their city which is clean and beautiful, very tropical, and not so big. It was especially good to see Faith in good health as we have worried about and pr for her much.
I was given a Chinese name and will share it whenever I can figure it out!! :) I shared much about adoption and can see the beginning fruit. I understand things are going well at the Bridge and received updates on all of our friends. My only regret for this trip is that we will not make it to X town, to see these folks as well as 4 fish and others. It is a deep regret.
Colin is sitting in bed "reading" a book next to Chrissy. He has bonded most with her but also with the rest of us. Mia is just her normal wonderful self and she and Madeline have really enjoyed the time together. Anne is content and "taking to" be the mama of a boy. He if playful with her and she is worried about him (too close to this, be careful with that, get down from there)....typical mama stuff. She did ask that I explain to him how to aim a little better and to put the seat up and down. :) This is all new stuff for us.
I will ask Chrissy to download pictures soon. Madeline and I are headed to the day market tomorrow. Thank goodness $100 yuan = only $14!!
Press on,
Tommy
Saturday, March 7, 2009
made it to Guangzhou
Hi All,
We made it into GZ at 2:00 a.m. yesterday! The long day at the airport and change in sleeping patters has set us back. Anne and I have allergies or a cold. Our plane was delayed out of Shenyang we think due to snow. It snowed and snowed--big huge flakes. I think I have a picture of the white out---it is not pollution but heavy snow. It was fun for about 5 minutes. So glad we live down south!
Mingzheng is doing well. He has had difficulty falling asleep, sometimes crying fitfully for almost an hour. He just tires himself out from crying. Will not let me touch him. The day at the airport was hard on us all. Funny, Anne found a spot for us behind railings for a "automatic walkway." So we had our little spot with the windows on one side and the glass railings on the other. Kept the two little ones in one spot. But, we were such a display. The Chinese would come up to the railings and stare at us. I know what it feels like to be a monkey in a zoo. Then Colin would start cyring and many would come see why the child was crying. He would yell in Chinese----for all we know he was saying, "help me, these people are crazy!!" Ha.
Most times however, he is loving, independant, and funny. We are so glad to be in GZ with our good friends Faith and Hans (and met new friends with them). They have taken both younger kids out to play. Anne and the older two are shopping. I just got back from the gym. They are helping us translate so we can better understand MingZheng. He has said that he is cold. If he is cold here I am sure he was freezing in Shenyang. We are just not used to layering like he is but will try harder for him. Also, he told one of them about us, "I do not know what they are saying." How frustrating for him and probably resulting in the tears. Faith and Hans say he is very obediant, he just doesn't know what we want.
Yesterday, I came in to the room and found Mia, Christian, Colin and Madeline all watching a moving in Chinese!! Yikes, this is not going well. :) Colin must learn English fast or we may have 4 children speaking Chinese to parents who are clueless. That would give Madaline free reign of the pack; boy would she love that!
Tonight I travel with our friends to speak to their company. I will spend the night and return tomorrow. Anne and the kids will go shopping with our adoption group to the jade/pearl factory. Here come the kids; I better go.
Tommy
We made it into GZ at 2:00 a.m. yesterday! The long day at the airport and change in sleeping patters has set us back. Anne and I have allergies or a cold. Our plane was delayed out of Shenyang we think due to snow. It snowed and snowed--big huge flakes. I think I have a picture of the white out---it is not pollution but heavy snow. It was fun for about 5 minutes. So glad we live down south!
Mingzheng is doing well. He has had difficulty falling asleep, sometimes crying fitfully for almost an hour. He just tires himself out from crying. Will not let me touch him. The day at the airport was hard on us all. Funny, Anne found a spot for us behind railings for a "automatic walkway." So we had our little spot with the windows on one side and the glass railings on the other. Kept the two little ones in one spot. But, we were such a display. The Chinese would come up to the railings and stare at us. I know what it feels like to be a monkey in a zoo. Then Colin would start cyring and many would come see why the child was crying. He would yell in Chinese----for all we know he was saying, "help me, these people are crazy!!" Ha.
Most times however, he is loving, independant, and funny. We are so glad to be in GZ with our good friends Faith and Hans (and met new friends with them). They have taken both younger kids out to play. Anne and the older two are shopping. I just got back from the gym. They are helping us translate so we can better understand MingZheng. He has said that he is cold. If he is cold here I am sure he was freezing in Shenyang. We are just not used to layering like he is but will try harder for him. Also, he told one of them about us, "I do not know what they are saying." How frustrating for him and probably resulting in the tears. Faith and Hans say he is very obediant, he just doesn't know what we want.
Yesterday, I came in to the room and found Mia, Christian, Colin and Madeline all watching a moving in Chinese!! Yikes, this is not going well. :) Colin must learn English fast or we may have 4 children speaking Chinese to parents who are clueless. That would give Madaline free reign of the pack; boy would she love that!
Tonight I travel with our friends to speak to their company. I will spend the night and return tomorrow. Anne and the kids will go shopping with our adoption group to the jade/pearl factory. Here come the kids; I better go.
Tommy
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
orpanage trip
Hi friends,
Yesterday we all visited Mingzheng's orphanage. Before going, we asked our interpretor to explain to him that he was going back to the orphanage to say goodbye to his friends and nannies. We told him he would not stay but would leave with us. He nodded that he understood. As we drove up, he started to cry but we told him remember, we are hear to say goodbye and then he was off....off to passing out candy, hugging his nannies, and leading us around the place!
The orphanage is really nice, and more importantly, we could tell by the children's interaction with the nannies that they get lots of love! Half the Sky foundation has done a wonderful job providing the facilities. Each group of around 8 kids had 2 nannies and separate sleeping, playing, and classroom facilities. We met Colin's best friend who he shared a bed with. They were best buds and we hope to connect with him again once he is adopted. This little boy has a problem with his ears but did a great job talking to us. The nannies explained that we needed to talk to him looking at him so he could see our mouths and hear better. He was a happy little camper. MingZheng was the oldest and leader of his group. It was all boys except for one beautiful little girl. I would have brought them all home if possible.
Anne connected with a little boy who could not open his candy because his hands--really his fingers--are deformed. His fingers are grown together but I could feel the bones for each separate finger; he just needed surgery to separate them. We are going to contact half the sky about that little guy's surgery and see what we can do (you will see him in pictures when we get home).
We also visited a separate part of the orphanage run by two C's. They focus on the more challenged kids, most of whom are older (teenagers). Again, the facilities were great and the love evident. While these children will most likely never be adopted, they have created a home atmospher where they all pitch in and take care of each other. They are learning trades like woodburning and knitting. It was not at all depressing; rather, we were encouraged by what these ladies were doing for the least of these. It is rightly named "Dream Home" http://chinadreamhome.com/about.html
It has been interesting to watch MingZheng and all his new discoveries. He was very tenative at first in the pool but last night didn't want to leave. So many things are new for him. Food! It is something to watch him at the hotel breakfast buffet. From eating the basic food at the orphanage to food from around the world, with full offerings of Japanese, Aussie, American and Chinese cuisine. I think there is a sermon in there somewhere about what we are offered in this life.
Mia is doing well and is back to her normal happy self. She has learned to be firm with her brother (not be the victim) and this control has helped her to accept the new competition. They play together well most of the time and she has admitted she likes having a brother.
Today we are off to shop for Madeline and Christian. Madeline is ready to hit the town. Anne is over her jet lag and seeing the good shape of the orphanage was good for her. Hopefully, picture will follow.
Tommy
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
and then came the tears....
Day 2 with MingZheng started well. The three girls decided to stay at the hotel while Anne, MingZheng and I returned to the Office of Civil Affairs (where we got him yesterday) to apply for his Chinese passport so he can leave the country with us. On the way our guide surprised us by asking him if he wanted to go back to the orphanage. MingZheng said, "no, they have good noodles." Ha! Quite understandable given that us guys are always looking for good food!
Everyone was happy until we pulled up to the office. MingZheng saw the place and screamed BOOO (noooo) and started crying and pleading that he did not want to go back. He became hysterical. Anne and I were trying to console him but he is pleading in Chinese and we are reassuring him in English. Not working. I told the guide to tell him we are his family, he is NOT going back to the orphanage, we love him and will never leave him. This went on for a couple of minutes as he was so hysterical he could not listen. Finally, we get him calmed down and go into the office of civil affairs.
Well, guess who is waiting on us? His orphanage director. She is very sweet and comes to greet him. He goes hysterical again, falls on the floor, waives his hands in front of him (literally waiving bye bye to her) and screaming I don't want to go back to the orphanage. The director was great. She came over and got right in his face. You are NOT going back! You are staying with your mama and baba! I am just here to help them take you with them. You are not going with me. We will separate. This is your mama and baba she says pointing to us. He calms down again slowly, sniffling with puffy red eyes, but does not get off Anne's lap for a l o n g time.
We were there about an hour or so, maybe longer, and MingZheng eventually returns to playing with the other 4 children being adopted and a couple of their siblings. So now we need to go to the police station (by this time, we are just handing over money and signing papers, so I have no idea why we had to go there.) As we walk out the director starts to walk out with us and.....you guessed it...he again goes bonkers. She says Mingzheng, we will separate, I will not be with you for long and goes through the whole mama/baba routine again. She decides it is best to ride with a different family. Good decision. Through all this she is smiling at us and is obviously happy that he has bonded with us so well.
I think he finally understood because at the Police Station he was his happy, smiling self....even with her. The Police Chief (a woman) came out to say hello to the director and saw MingZheng. She smiled and waived and obviously knew him. She told us congratulations and that MingZheng is a very smart boy. Later we found out the police chief volunteers at the orphanage.
As for the rest of us, everyone has been a bit off today. We are all tired and emotionally exhausted. Mia needed and enjoyed the alone time with her sisters this morning but had a little melt down this evening. Chrissy is the one holding us all together...of course!
Tomorrow we visit the orphanage. Yes, all of us. We will talk with Colin about going back to say goodbye to his friends and teachers. We want to take a picture of all of us with his primary nanny and the director. We have read and been told to have three pictures on a sheet of construction paper for him. One will be from the orphanage with friends, one will be the picture of us and his nanny and director, and then the last will be the picture of just our family. I think he pretty much already gets this but just in case, we will try it and use the pictures to retell him his story as he starts asking more questions. Of course, our plans are subject to change (like one of us staying with him and not going to the orphanage if he seems to object).
We were told today the orphanage has over 300 children in it. I expect it is one of the better state run orphanages, just from being around the director. Also, she allows two separate nonprofit groups to operate inside it and assist....and welcomes folks to visit. Have I told you that Colin was in the "Half the Sky" portion of the orphanage? From what I have heard, it is a great organization. Oh, that 12-year old I mentioned earlier (found out he is 13) was doing well today. Smiling and trying to figure out what a Ntdo DS was all about. Come to find out he has a little sister who was adopted from this orphanage a year or two ago. When adopted, she asked for a big brother. Her parents laughed and joked that the 13 year old (then 12) would be a good brother. As they continued to get updated lists of kids who were available, time after time he was passed over and turned up on the list. He would "age out" at age 14 and be "unadoptable" according to Cn law. Well, you can see where this is going---and they lived happily ever after!
Press on. I will try more pics tomorrow.
T
Everyone was happy until we pulled up to the office. MingZheng saw the place and screamed BOOO (noooo) and started crying and pleading that he did not want to go back. He became hysterical. Anne and I were trying to console him but he is pleading in Chinese and we are reassuring him in English. Not working. I told the guide to tell him we are his family, he is NOT going back to the orphanage, we love him and will never leave him. This went on for a couple of minutes as he was so hysterical he could not listen. Finally, we get him calmed down and go into the office of civil affairs.
Well, guess who is waiting on us? His orphanage director. She is very sweet and comes to greet him. He goes hysterical again, falls on the floor, waives his hands in front of him (literally waiving bye bye to her) and screaming I don't want to go back to the orphanage. The director was great. She came over and got right in his face. You are NOT going back! You are staying with your mama and baba! I am just here to help them take you with them. You are not going with me. We will separate. This is your mama and baba she says pointing to us. He calms down again slowly, sniffling with puffy red eyes, but does not get off Anne's lap for a l o n g time.
We were there about an hour or so, maybe longer, and MingZheng eventually returns to playing with the other 4 children being adopted and a couple of their siblings. So now we need to go to the police station (by this time, we are just handing over money and signing papers, so I have no idea why we had to go there.) As we walk out the director starts to walk out with us and.....you guessed it...he again goes bonkers. She says Mingzheng, we will separate, I will not be with you for long and goes through the whole mama/baba routine again. She decides it is best to ride with a different family. Good decision. Through all this she is smiling at us and is obviously happy that he has bonded with us so well.
I think he finally understood because at the Police Station he was his happy, smiling self....even with her. The Police Chief (a woman) came out to say hello to the director and saw MingZheng. She smiled and waived and obviously knew him. She told us congratulations and that MingZheng is a very smart boy. Later we found out the police chief volunteers at the orphanage.
As for the rest of us, everyone has been a bit off today. We are all tired and emotionally exhausted. Mia needed and enjoyed the alone time with her sisters this morning but had a little melt down this evening. Chrissy is the one holding us all together...of course!
Tomorrow we visit the orphanage. Yes, all of us. We will talk with Colin about going back to say goodbye to his friends and teachers. We want to take a picture of all of us with his primary nanny and the director. We have read and been told to have three pictures on a sheet of construction paper for him. One will be from the orphanage with friends, one will be the picture of us and his nanny and director, and then the last will be the picture of just our family. I think he pretty much already gets this but just in case, we will try it and use the pictures to retell him his story as he starts asking more questions. Of course, our plans are subject to change (like one of us staying with him and not going to the orphanage if he seems to object).
We were told today the orphanage has over 300 children in it. I expect it is one of the better state run orphanages, just from being around the director. Also, she allows two separate nonprofit groups to operate inside it and assist....and welcomes folks to visit. Have I told you that Colin was in the "Half the Sky" portion of the orphanage? From what I have heard, it is a great organization. Oh, that 12-year old I mentioned earlier (found out he is 13) was doing well today. Smiling and trying to figure out what a Ntdo DS was all about. Come to find out he has a little sister who was adopted from this orphanage a year or two ago. When adopted, she asked for a big brother. Her parents laughed and joked that the 13 year old (then 12) would be a good brother. As they continued to get updated lists of kids who were available, time after time he was passed over and turned up on the list. He would "age out" at age 14 and be "unadoptable" according to Cn law. Well, you can see where this is going---and they lived happily ever after!
Press on. I will try more pics tomorrow.
T
Monday, March 2, 2009
crazy "good" day
We are at the end of our first day with MingZheng and are all exhausted. Where does he get all this energy?? Things went great at the office of civil affairs when we met him. There were 4 other families also there. The 12 year old boy being adopted appeared to be having the hardest time....very quite and shut down. Anne offered him some candy and he slowly started to interact. We were just so happy that he was being adopted after most certainly watching friend after friend find a home and leave him.
We kept waiting. All the other children were with their familes. We moved out into the hallway to be just a little closer to the elevator. Finally, we asked our guide to call and see where they were. He had gotten sick on the ride and that delayed them. Madeline and Christian were monitoring the elevator and finally saw it coming to the 6th floor. Off walked MingZheng, right by us. We were all talking to him and he just went on by. We joined him in the meeting room and all stood around him taking pictures and introducing ourselves. He hugged Mama and looked at Mia as the one he could connect to and play with.
When his orphanage director left, she said bye bye and pointed to Anne and I as mama and baba. He was fine. Pictures and paperwork all went great. Another child was having a hard time but not Colin.
We came back to the hotel and in the elevator he pointed to Mia and yelled something. We asked our interpretor who advised that he was saying he wanted to fight with Mia. That is great, just great. ;) He talks and talks, and looks at Anne saying "mama!!" and then runs to me, "baba!" He is very excited to have a mommy and daddy. It is obvious that the orphanage worked with him and our pictures. He was in the "half the sky" portion of the orphanage, a nonprofit group. They gave us a big book about his life in the orphanage.
We also got a note from his biological parents. It is being translated, but in short, it says they leave him in hopes that he can get the care that he needs that they cannot afford. They feel guilty about abandoning him, but think it is best for him.
That is tough, I can't imagine being in their situation. I will have to digest this later as my mind is spinning and need to put it aside.
Mia is having a hard time tonight. She is crying. We are going to have an all about Mia day tomorrow, to the extent that we can. He is rough, taking what he wants and obviously has had to be strong. She just wilts. I have already told him "no good" in Chinese with a harsh tone a couple of times. I made him return a couple things he grabbed from her. She has been wonderful; just lets him take it. But tonight, she wants HER mommy and they are in a different room. Actually, everyone is going to a different room except for me and Colin! He has worn them out.
Twice tonight, he has started crying for a short period of time (5 minutes)----for no apparent reason. Well, no reason other than his world just changed. Nothing is the same--odors, sounds, looks, toys, food, environment, ---all different. But then, as quickly as he started crying, he stops and starts speaking Mandarin again. Did I say he talks non-stop!
His cleft lip look good. He does have a partially cleft palet, as best I can tell, and a couple of missing teeth. Nothing looks too major.
I will try to post some pictures. Thanks for all your prayer!!
We kept waiting. All the other children were with their familes. We moved out into the hallway to be just a little closer to the elevator. Finally, we asked our guide to call and see where they were. He had gotten sick on the ride and that delayed them. Madeline and Christian were monitoring the elevator and finally saw it coming to the 6th floor. Off walked MingZheng, right by us. We were all talking to him and he just went on by. We joined him in the meeting room and all stood around him taking pictures and introducing ourselves. He hugged Mama and looked at Mia as the one he could connect to and play with.
When his orphanage director left, she said bye bye and pointed to Anne and I as mama and baba. He was fine. Pictures and paperwork all went great. Another child was having a hard time but not Colin.
We came back to the hotel and in the elevator he pointed to Mia and yelled something. We asked our interpretor who advised that he was saying he wanted to fight with Mia. That is great, just great. ;) He talks and talks, and looks at Anne saying "mama!!" and then runs to me, "baba!" He is very excited to have a mommy and daddy. It is obvious that the orphanage worked with him and our pictures. He was in the "half the sky" portion of the orphanage, a nonprofit group. They gave us a big book about his life in the orphanage.
We also got a note from his biological parents. It is being translated, but in short, it says they leave him in hopes that he can get the care that he needs that they cannot afford. They feel guilty about abandoning him, but think it is best for him.
That is tough, I can't imagine being in their situation. I will have to digest this later as my mind is spinning and need to put it aside.
Mia is having a hard time tonight. She is crying. We are going to have an all about Mia day tomorrow, to the extent that we can. He is rough, taking what he wants and obviously has had to be strong. She just wilts. I have already told him "no good" in Chinese with a harsh tone a couple of times. I made him return a couple things he grabbed from her. She has been wonderful; just lets him take it. But tonight, she wants HER mommy and they are in a different room. Actually, everyone is going to a different room except for me and Colin! He has worn them out.
Twice tonight, he has started crying for a short period of time (5 minutes)----for no apparent reason. Well, no reason other than his world just changed. Nothing is the same--odors, sounds, looks, toys, food, environment, ---all different. But then, as quickly as he started crying, he stops and starts speaking Mandarin again. Did I say he talks non-stop!
His cleft lip look good. He does have a partially cleft palet, as best I can tell, and a couple of missing teeth. Nothing looks too major.
I will try to post some pictures. Thanks for all your prayer!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
family of 6
WE GOT HIM! He is wonderful. No tears, babbling in Chinese at us and playing. He threw up on the car ride to meet us so we were a little delayed. He is smiling and already calling us baba and mama. Got to go sign papers. I promise pictures and more to come later today.
So what were you all so worried about? ;)
T
So what were you all so worried about? ;)
T
12 hours and counting
Hi Friends and Family,
We made it to cold...very cold....Shenyang, Liaoning Province in Northeast China. Flying in, snow covered the ground. It has been cleared in the city, except for the dirty snow drifts on the side of the road. After checking into our hotel, we headed to Pizza Hut as promised to Chrissy for being such a great help in Beijing. Madeline and Mom then went to bed early while Chrissy, Mia and I went swimming.
In 12 hours we get guardianship of MingZheng! We are all (finally) ready and excited. To be honest, we have struggled with all the reasons why we should not be doing this and have worried about the difficulties of adopting a 3.5 year old and of just having 4 children. It has been a matter of obeying what we believe is God's will for us more than something we yearned for. Our feelings have gone back and forth, from excitement to fear. But no more. The visit to Harmony Outreach got my focus off of me and the challenges that lay ahead for us. My love and concern is now focused on MingZheng and I can't imagine life without him...anymore than I can imagine life without Madeline, Mia or Christian.
We have a digital camera and will post pics as soon as we can!
Press on.
Tommy
We made it to cold...very cold....Shenyang, Liaoning Province in Northeast China. Flying in, snow covered the ground. It has been cleared in the city, except for the dirty snow drifts on the side of the road. After checking into our hotel, we headed to Pizza Hut as promised to Chrissy for being such a great help in Beijing. Madeline and Mom then went to bed early while Chrissy, Mia and I went swimming.
In 12 hours we get guardianship of MingZheng! We are all (finally) ready and excited. To be honest, we have struggled with all the reasons why we should not be doing this and have worried about the difficulties of adopting a 3.5 year old and of just having 4 children. It has been a matter of obeying what we believe is God's will for us more than something we yearned for. Our feelings have gone back and forth, from excitement to fear. But no more. The visit to Harmony Outreach got my focus off of me and the challenges that lay ahead for us. My love and concern is now focused on MingZheng and I can't imagine life without him...anymore than I can imagine life without Madeline, Mia or Christian.
We have a digital camera and will post pics as soon as we can!
Press on.
Tommy
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